hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she looked like the before picture.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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