maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
