Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
