That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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