Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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