guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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