Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
she peed on how many people?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
