RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
