Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
