That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
