I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
