shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
