Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We smell like vodka and hangover
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