I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
