barbara walters just said penis...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
