i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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