No awkward lesbian experiences without me
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
