There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
