I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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