you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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