They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize