she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize