I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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