I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
