You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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