When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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