oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
