the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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