I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
