i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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