At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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