The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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