I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
