i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
