Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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