Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
