I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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