Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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