I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
