Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
