Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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