I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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