thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
