No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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