If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
