I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It's blow job season.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
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