I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
It was confusing and full of hummus
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
