I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
