Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
