glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
