I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
